Setting Intentions for the New Year: Reclaiming Your Path with Love!

Day-by-day: Reparenting yourself with fun, discipline, love and hope.

Introduction

A new year doesn’t have to mean a new you. It can simply mean a deeper, more grounded return to the real you—the version that trauma tried to erase, the version you’re slowly getting to know and love.

That’s what setting intentions is about. It’s not about forcing transformation. It’s about choosing where to put your energy, what to prioritize, and how to honor your healing as it unfolds. For those of us who grew up in chaos, trauma, or neglect, the idea of planning a life on our terms can feel foreign—maybe even impossible. But it’s not. And setting loving, clear, trauma-informed intentions is a beautiful way to begin.

Why Traditional Resolutions Often Fail (Especially for Trauma Survivors)

Conventional resolutions often come from a place of internal criticism:

• I’m not good enough yet.

• I need to change everything to be worthy.

• If I work harder, I’ll finally be okay.

But when you’ve spent your life surviving abuse, abandonment, or emotional deprivation, that inner critic is already too loud. What we need isn’t another voice demanding perfection—it’s a voice that gently offers direction.

Intentions are that voice.

What Is an Intention?

An intention is a direction, not a demand.It’s not a rigid goal or a box to check. It’s a commitment to how you want to move through life, especially when things are messy or unclear.

It’s about energy.About integrity.About guiding your nervous system toward safety, empowerment, and alignment with your truest self.

How to Set Intentions That Support Healing

1. Ask Yourself: What Am I Ready to Invite In?

Forget what you think you should want. What do you actually need more of? Peace? Courage? Playfulness? Stillness?

Let your inner child answer this question with honesty.

2. Start with a Feeling, Not a Goal

Instead of saying, “I want to write a book,” say, “I want to feel confident expressing myself this year.”Instead of “I want to stop dating narcissists,” try, “I want to feel safe, respected, and valued in connection.”

The feeling is the foundation. From there, behavior shifts naturally.

3. Choose a Guiding Word or Theme

Select a word you can return to again and again:

• Trust

• Receive

• Embody

• Reclaim

• Soften

• Strengthen

Let this word be your anchor when the path gets hard.

4. Make Your Intention a Gentle Mantra

Write it as a first-person statement you can revisit often:

• “I meet myself with kindness even when I fall short.”

• “I honor rest as part of my healing.”

• “I protect my peace without apology.”

These aren’t rules. They’re reminders of your worth.

Journal Prompts to Uncover Your Intention

Take a quiet moment with yourself. Reflect on the following:

• What emotional patterns am I ready to outgrow?

• Where did I feel the most peace this past year?

• What do I want to feel more of in the new year?

• What am I still holding onto that’s keeping me small?

• What is one thing I’m ready to claim for myself?

From your answers, write 1–3 clear, compassionate intentions.

Affirmations to Support Your Intention-Setting

• I am allowed to choose peace, even if it disappoints others.

• My growth doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.

• I deserve to feel safe in my body and in my life.

• I can take up space. I can slow down. I can begin again.

• This year, I do not abandon myself.

Closing: Intention Is a Form of Reparenting

Every time you set an intention that honors your real needs, you’re doing what your caregivers never did:You’re showing up.You’re listening.You’re choosing the long game of love over the short fix of shame.

So instead of trying to become a new person this new year, try becoming more you.More rooted. More curious. More whole.

Let this year be less about fixing—and more about becoming.

And remember: Reparenting Daily will be here with you, every step of the way.

References

1. Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

2. Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden.

3. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.

4. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

5. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

6. Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT® Skills Training Manual. Guilford Publications.

7. Maté, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture. Avery.

8. Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence. Harmony.

9. Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 359(1449), 1367–1377.

10. Branden, N. (1994). The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Bantam.